Fahrenheit Festival of Fire Sculpture 2011

Got the chance to see Artcite's latest Fahrenheit Festival, where they brought together various artists to make giant wood-straw sculptures that they burned once the sun set.

Most of the sculptures ended up burning quite nicely. Of particular interest were the flower that blossomed and the dancing man.

As for chocolate... unfortunately, the event location ended up being changed abruptly and the vendors did not participate. So we were stuck with hot chocolate from a can (no pictures needed), and mainstream chocolate bars and popcorn. Only the chocolate bar supply lasted through to the end of the event. On the plus side, grad students bbq'd fresh sweet corn.

Rating:  

Festival ~ 10 / 10 - Quite enjoyable, and let's not forget, it's the only fire festival in Canada.  It's like a Canadian counterpart to Nevada's Burning Man.

Chocolate ~ It's not even worth grading, but hey, that's no fault of the organizers.  It happens. Besides, we went there for the Fire, not chocolate.

Here's a few pics from the night:

Harry Potter's Last Stand and Dark Chocolate Pomegranate

Here we are, about four weeks after Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 has come out and I'm finally getting around to posting about it.  Well, it can't have been that great then, eh?  Nope.  Plus, well, other things distracted me, like the visual art scene.

Three of us went downtown to catch it on the first Saturday night.  Coming into the theater, we brought our own goods, of course:  Brookside Dark Chocolate Pomegranate and yes, Jones Soda -- Green Apple and Blue Bubblegum flavours.

The state of the seats directly in front of us foreshadowed our overall view of the movie.   Busted and out of order, management taped them up in black garbage bags.  Sure, HP installments have always been filmed in rather dark tones to match the whole black and white fight between good and evil, but never before did we find the magic within broken.

It came across as if the actors, especially the younger ones, phoned in their roles.  Tired, weary, and emotionless.  Honestly, I felt more sentimental before I entered the theater and bought my ticket.  After ten years of Bertie Bott's Jelly Beans and the Weasley twins' antics and the crazed killer actions of Bellatrix Lestrange, a sadness in saying goodbye surrounded me like an Invisibility Cloak.

Good thing I bought a giant bag of popcorn and my friend supplied the Brookside chocolates.  I couldn't get enough of those.  Yummy, I thought about them as I bit and chewed them instead of focusing on the dull rapport between even Hermione and Ron.  So much for screen chemistry.

Now, the electricity and passion that Alan Rickman infused Snape with, well, that became the best part of the whole experience.  More please.  Oh, it's too late.  And when Molly Weasley took down Bellatrix, I actually thought, Why, Voldemort, why?  Boring as bloody hell.  Characters like Bellatrix needed more screen time--and so did Malfoy.

Oh, they could have done so much more with this movie.  Instead, they turned it into a sleep-walker of blandness.  When favourite characters like Fred died, they didn't show it and only briefly did the camera pause on them.  So much wasted potential.

Aside from Snape's love for Lily, the presentation fell flat.  I can't say it enough.  Even the epic final battle landed on its head.  Devoid of emotion, poorly choreographed, and far from memorable, it came across like bits of World War II reenactments, the Luke/Darth Vader sword battle of the Star Wars series, and, well, a knock-off of Lord of the Rings.

Sure, you can try and guilt me: it's the last movie, don't you feel the sadness, the tears rolling down your cheeks?  No, but I did and do long for the magic of earlier HP movies.

And then to add insult to injury, the production offered us some cheap makeup and clothes in the so-called aging of the main characters, Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Draco.  Seriously?  The HP machine has brought in buckets of money over the past decade; you'd think that they could spare a couple bucks to make them credible grown ups.  Hell, even bad wigs and properly angled stage lights would have worked better.

Walking out of the theater, we felt so empty.  Just as the author, J. K. Rowling, squashed further sequels by throwing a bland coda on the end, the series finale killed it by erasing the spirit that soared in earlier parts.

Ratings:

HPATDHP2:  6.5 / 10 - Somewhat lackluster and anticlimactic, but Snape and Voldemort saved it.

Brookside Dark Chocolate Pomegranate:  8 / 10 - A tasty mix of cocoa and pomegranate juice.

Cookie Cutter Hollywood Movies and Cookie Dough Ice Cream

We celebrated Canada Day (July 1) by eating ice cream and watched some older movies, A Knight's Tale (2001) and The Karate Kid (2010), with a friend.  When these movies came out, I had absolutely no interest in seeing them, however, we were hanging out and decided to sit down and see what they had to offer.  Since it was a holiday, we walked to the nearest grocery store and picked up the closest thing to chocolate that we could find without a trillion chemicals in it:   Irresistibles Cookie Dough and Brownies Ice Cream.

Irony overshadowed the whole experience. The day before, unbeknownst to us, the Canadian government issued an allergy warning for the ice cream we bought. No kidding. Course, we didn't hear about it until a few days later. Ooops. Fortunately, nobody who ate it suffered from any issue relating to eggs.

We hunkered down with the Heath Ledger movie. After eating takeout pizza we dove into the ice cream. Yeah, pizza, for the holiday. Special days aren't meant to be chalked full of nutritional foods. I suppose that goes for movie quality as well, since Knight came across as typical Hollywood cookie cutter feel-good fair. Yeah.

Just like in Smith's Karate Kid, everything is black and white; there's the good guy who must be the underdog and the bad guy who always has the upper hand, whether it be through class or money or both. Then, of course, we need a pretty girl who immediately falls for our hero.

Good thing I got busy stuffing my face, it distracted me from the feel-good crap on the TV screen.  Sure, Ledger provided some eye-candy and Karate Kid came across as a tourist brochure for the shiny bits of China, but the fact that these two movies had the exact same formula kind of ruined it.  I mean, hey, if at least one of them could have had even the tiniest bit of creativity to it, that would have made everything okay.

The only area they did get creative with was in the whole Suspension of Disbelief department, as expected.  Smith's character, a complete newbie to martial arts, miraculously spars a seasoned Kung Fu champ and avoids ultimate defeat.  Never mind that they got the style of martial arts wrong, but I guess if they named it something other than what they did, people wouldn't get that it was a remake with a few superficial changes.

And poor Ledger, fighting with a knight who's obviously using an improper jousting lance.  Even the crowd could easily see that it wasn't regulation.  Such oversights must occur for flimsy and drab plots to crawl towards the required ending of white defeating black.  Ho hum.

From yawn-inducing stories to bland ice cream that didn't have the texture of any of the goodies it boasted:  chunks of chocolate chip cookie dough, chocolate brownies, or real cream.  And the chocolate taste was muted at best.  Disappointed, I double checked the ingredients to make sure it even had any in it and found traces of 'cocoa butter' and 'cocoa powder.'   Yay.

Ratings:

A Knight's Tale / The Karate Kid / Irresistibles Cookie Dough:  6 / 10 -  It's best to simply list them altogether, since they deserve about the same score.  Knight gets a high number for the shots of Ledger and the jousting scenes and, last but not least, Paul Bettany's naked butt shots.  Karate gets a decent ranking because of the pretty scenery and Jackie Chan--I'm a big fan.  Cookie did better than expected because well, we already had low expectations.

X-Men: First Class & Last Class Chocolate

I did not prepare properly for this particular movie outing.  We had to purchase chocolate at the movie kiosk.  And, as noted previously, we've been showing up on cheap night Tuesdays, since there are so many on the list to see this summer.

Despite the glitches, we enjoyed X-Men:  First Class.  Although I'd seen the previews, I had no idea how it would go over.  Well, it didn't center around Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), so ... But I have to say that the movie pulled off presenting the backgrounds of Xavier (James McAvoy) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender).  Both characters came across as believable and their emotions reached through the screen to the audience, especially during their touching scene on the beach near the end.

Of course, I ended up on Team Magneto.  Xavier, even in college, when pursuing women, seemed such a pansy.  That's not a bad thing, but compared to the complex layers of Magneto, X was a lightweight.

Yeah, I know, it's a comic, but take the relationship between Magneto and Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence), for example.  She offers herself up to him and he reacts by agreeing, if she stays in her true form during the encounter.  That spoke much stronger than Xavier's lame pickup lines involving women's genetic quirks.

Now, that's not to say that others will be Team Magneto; somebody I went with totally disagreed.  She immediately took to the genuinely caring Xavier and stuck with him.  So either side is justified in the movie.

And onto the villains, featuring Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) and his sidekick, Emma Frost (January Jones).  Bacon did a great job playing a sadistic Nazi and transitioned nicely into a 1960s Bond-type bad guy.  Frost played the villainous vixen convincingly, and yes, she fit the 60s style Bond bad-girl wardrobe.

Of course, with such a movie, in contemporary times, there has to be CGI, especially for scenes where Magneto lifts whole submarines into the air.  Believable?  Not so much, but hey, it's presented much the same as in the other X-Men installments.  The human reflection and interactions balance it without smothering the audience.

And then there's the cameo with Wolverine.  Wow.  His time onscreen didn't last longer than say, twenty seconds, but the audience went nuts when they--er, we--saw him.  He had one line and that's all he needed.  Perfection.

Overall, the movie exceeded expectations (since I really didn't know what I was in for).  The Wolverine spot brought it over the edge.  From Bacon to Mystique and minor characters like Beast (Nicholas Hoult), the actors worked it.  Costuming and props also did a great job of working the 1940s/1960s vibe.

Ratings:

X-Men:  First Class - 8.5 / 10 - It's a good score, considering the movie doesn't focus on Wolverine (my favourite character).  My views of Magneto and Xavier really turned around.  I'm also looking forward to seeing more movies with Fassbender and Lawrence.  And nice to see Bacon back in form.

Junior Mints - 4.5 / 10 - I couldn't be bothered to them until now, when I have to rate them.  It's really been a long time since I've had to eat such sugar mints.  I've been spoiled on real cocoa chocolate and candies, that's for sure.  These bloody things (I can't really call them mints) burnt my mouth with the low-grade sugar assault.  Never again.  I must stick to smuggling real chocolate into the movies.

The Solitude of Numbers and Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream

I'm currently writing a memoir about childhood and as each draft winds its way through the eagle eyes of beta and refining critters, I often receive fantastic feedback that leads me to other writers.  That's how I stumbled upon Paolo Giordano's The Solitude of Prime Numbers.  A reader said that my writing, which portrays a dysfunctional family and includes the use of bodily excretions, reminded her of this book.

She found both stories difficult to read, particularly because of the grittier details.  At first I thought, oh man, time to toss the whole thing into the garbage, but after I absorbed the rejection, I went looking for it at the local library.

I'd never heard of Giordano or The Solitude before.  It's a translation of La solitudine dei numeri primi, his Italian story of two traumatized individuals, Mattia and Alice.  I decided to read it, thinking, hey, why not, maybe I'll get some insights.

What a surprise it turned out to be.   I enjoyed the fast read.  Yes, it included a scene that dealt with excrement, but so what.  I'm not just saying that to bolster my own childhood poop.  It maintains the story's integrity.

Since I'm talking about the body, I'll move straight into the chocolate connection.   Well, yeah, childhood humour is appropriate, given that the story deals with the progression from early childhood to the prime of adult life.

What better way to experience a novel then by purchasing some ice cream that you can eat in small bowls as it unfolds?  I chose Turtle Mountain's soy based chocolate peanut butter flavor.  The first taste my tongue found was the peanut butter.  Yes, real peanuts and, real cocoa.  The texture wasn't as smooth as traditional corn syrup, chemical-laced ice creams, but it sure tastes better.

Like the ice cream, Solitude has a bite to it.  It's refreshing.  Not like a cool glass of water, but as a potent dance between the main characters, who suffer early traumas that leave them emotionally disabled.

It reads as the band Radiohead sounds with Thom Yorke's eerily haunting vocals, only it's fluid words on paper.  I doubted the similarity was a coincidence, so I read up on the author to find out who influenced him.

Sure enough,in an interview, he notes that Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails (NIN) inspire him as an artist.  Although trained as a physicist, he is clearly also an accomplished story teller.

In the end, as the isolated and lonely Alice and Mattia tried to come together, I really wanted them too succeed.  When such reunions rely on the logical resolution that a mathematician or physicist provides, it does not bode well.  Can one emotionally stunted woman plus one man of similar suffering equal  happily ever after?   Read it and find out.

There is also a movie adaptation of the novel.  I haven't seen it yet.  From the trailer, it looks like it has captured the essence and atmosphere of the story, so I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully it comes with English subtitles.

Ratings:

The Solitude of Prime Numbers:  9 / 10 -if only I could defy logic and force my own ending on it.  Otherwise, it makes for fantastic word music.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream:  8 / 10 - great peanut butter taste, I'd like to see a bit more chocolate punch to it.  While it is far more healthier than the average junk-filled ice creams out there, it wasn't as smooth.  Yes, I'd devour it again.

No Chocolate No Go

Well, folks, I ran out of chocolate a few days ago.  That means no reviews or experiences.  It's a pretty bland world without chocolate.  It's no joke, I can't even brush my teeth without it.  No, seriously, what's the point of brushing if there's no chocolate?

Okay, dental hygiene jokes aside, I've got a few book reviews in the works. That includes the first ebook I've read (I got it as a gift last week).  Those posts will alternate with my thoughts on movies that I haven't seen yet, Like Kung Fu Panda 2, X-Men: First Class, and Bridesmaids ...

Oh, I know what you're thinking; people do entertainment reviews all the time without the aid of chocolate.  Sure.  Point taken, but this blog is supposed to be chocolate fueled and to do it without would cocoa-less.  Without the chocolate vibe, you might as well get Melba toast or unsalted crackers to fill in.  Honestly.

Look for chocolate peanut butter ice cream among the treats that I'll be talking about.  No, I haven't tried it yet, but once it's in my dessert bowl, I'm sure it'll last about three seconds--at least, I hope that's how good it's gonna taste.

Hangover 2 Saved By Chocolate

Last night I headed downtown to catch the sequel to the Hangover.  I couldn't go wrong on Cheap Night--or so I thought.  Armed with Jones Soda, plain brown rice cakes, and Dubble chocolate bars, I met up with a pal.  Before you raise the eyebrows at rice cakes, it's important to note here that with all the summer movies out there, I'm budgeting the entertainment funds.

We were both excited about seeing the Coop as Phil again.  Quite pleasing to look at, he played the same let's-keep-it-together character as in the last film, but with a meaner twist.  It was odd hearing him say the F-word no less than 50 billion times.  I know, it's rated R for language, nudity, drug use, violence... but come on already.  Did his contract call for so many swear words per page of script?

Added to that, Phil came across as extra prickly and defiant.  I had no fun watching him.  Yeah, he lead the trio, but he had a pissy mood about him and the bit where he tried to steal one of Stu's prescription pads came across as over the top for the character.  He's far less likable in this installment.

And now we come to the role of women in the movie.  Sure, it's about guys and a bachelor party, but in the first one, we got a fitting taste of Heather Graham, who added a sense of feminine balance.  Aside from looking worried and getting upset about the boys' late arrival, the girls didn't say anything.  Now, I must note that a prostitute got a few lines, but she really wasn't what she seemed.  *wink wink*

Plot?  Oh, right, yeah, that thing.  Well, to be honest, I set out to see the movie to get my Phil of the Coop (get it?  Phil?  Fill?...).  Yeah, I laughed along with the other people in the audience at moments, even though the film, scene for scene, copied the first one in its entirety.  I did know that going into it.  Same setup, same action, same ending, the only difference being that it took place in Bangkok instead of Vegas.  Oh, and they went for the gritty look rather than flash, which worked great as an anti-party commercial.

Aside from the grungy core of the film, the intro and wedding scenes were done with some polish.  The opening credits worked as a deceptive pull.  A nice trick, it pulled my guard down, leaving me wide open for things like the chopped finger, multiple flaccid 'weenises,' and what Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong) refers to as 'squalor.'

Oh, the monkey.  He smokes (see the suave chromatographic scene with his silhouette), and develops a friendship with Alan (Zach Galifianakis).  He takes the place of the tiger.  Not only do the guys have to return him, they have to retrieve him, so I guess there's a tiny variation on the plot from the first movie.  Yeah.

All in all, despite a few laughs and knowing nods, I wouldn't go see Hangover 2 again, nor would I rent it.  Maybe the cynical presentation put me off, or the forced swearing, or Phil's irritable demeanor, but whatever the root, it fell flat for me.

Ratings:

Hangover 2:  6 / 10 - It gets such a high score because the Coop looked good no matter what scene he showed up in and hey, Ken Jeong is always a laugh.  ...and the music rocked, just as it did in the first one.

plain brown rice cakes: 7 / 10 -  Hey, popcorn always rates as top for grazing food while taking in a movie.  Although much healthier, with far less calories, and far cheaper, the rice needed some sort of spice.

Dubble chocolate:  9 / 10 - Even though it melted on the way to the theater (ooops), it tasted good.  The only issue I had with it was the shape being thick instead of thin and wide like a regular chocolate bar.  Every crispy chocolate bite went down smooth and bonus, it's Fair Trade!  It more than made up for the limp movie.

Pirates of the Caribbean 4 & Smuggled Treasures

On cheap night Tuesday, we headed out to the Mall to see Pirates 4. Busing it to such a place makes my skin crawl and the lighting does weird things to my eyes, but we had to see Disney's 4th installment of the series.

Gearing up for the movie, I smuggled in Jones Soda, Green Apple flavour, and Nativa milk chocolate. The risk of being sent to the gallows was worth it. Horrid tasting fountain pop and cheap concession stand chocolate candy do nothing for my taste buds.

We bought one of those combos that comes with 2 giant sized drinks, 1 enormous bag of popcorn, and a thing of miniature candy bars. One of my pals took the two drinks, since he drinks like a fish. Once he quickly drank the first pop, I poured the Green Apple over his leftover ice.

Cue the movie: When I saw previews showing some of the interaction between Jack Sparrow (Depp) and Angelica Malon (Penélope Cruz), To be honest, the whole Will Turner/Elizabeth Swan plot of the previous movies bored me nearly to death.

Well, imagine my surprise when the whole Jack/Angelica relationship turned out to be a bunch of tease! What? It's all verbal acrobatics, jokes about their previous time together while she stayed in a convent, ie: 'Was I your first?' he asked. The real question is, will the fifth movie be the first in which Jack gets to show us some of that reputation of his?

Yeah, there'll be a fifth movie. The end of this one (after the 3 hour reel of credits roles by) indicates as much. Hey, you don't kill the cash cow when it's still churning out the goods.

Okay, so the love element is, once again, presented by a young, virginal couple, bible-thumper Philip (Sam Claflin) and mermaid Syerena (Astrid Berges-Frisbey). They hookup when the pirates and the British and Spanish navies go on the hunt for vampires - I mean - mermaids, as part of the quest for the Fountain of Youth. That scene, with its bevy of vampish--er, fishy--women, comes off as a nice nod to Brahm Stoker's Dracula.

Speaking of the un-dead, zombies are included in this movie. Sadly, they don't get much screen time, other than to look the part and handle a few tiny bits of action. Course, they get more action than the Black Pearl's monkey and the Pearl herself. Yeah, it's gone, stuck in a bottle. Poor thing. Oh well, maybe she'll be riding the high seas in #5? No doubt, mate.

I'm running out of space, so I better talk about the villains here. They served up Blackbeard (Ian McShane), to balance out Balbosa (Geoffrey Rush). Yawn. My Green Apple soda offered more of a bite. I guess they spoiled us with Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). I didn't find Blackbeard or his ship the slightest bit intimidating. Mutiny? You bet. I want Davy back.

Balbosa did a far better job of being creepy. All he had to do was put on a British navy uniform and one of those wigs. *shudder* It worked for me. I didn't feel comfortable until he put his pirate gear back on. ...and here I throw in a quick nod to Mr. Gibbs (Kevin McNally), who sadly, didn't get his usual story-telling space--Balbosa stole that. Hrmpf.

Oh yes, the last thing to mention is the plot. The what? That's what I said. The hunt for the Fountain acted as the thin thread that bound it all together. Small points like the historical English-Spanish rivalry got a few acknowledgements. And, of course, we laughed at all the right places.

Pirates 4: 7 / 10 ~ Despite the disappointments mentioned above, it's still a fun movie to watch. I'd go see it again, but I hope they make Jack and Angelica the love interest in Pirates 5.

Food: 10 / 10 ~ Everything, from the popcorn to the chocolate and Crab Apple, tasted just right. In fact, the soda kept its flavour the entire movie.  

Justin Timberlake's Golden Rule and A Morning Cup of Hot Chocolate

Sometimes you just gotta get silly.  That means, you have to watch Justin Timberlake's Golden Rule, from the May 22 episode of Saturday Night Live.  It also stars Andy Samberg and Lady Gaga.  Yeah yeah ye-ye-yeah!

I'm no fan of JT's music; he's a comedian, not a singer. A good example is his Single Ladies parody with Beyonce.  "We're the dancers," he says right off the bat, letting us know that "Oh uh ah ah oh," the trio of three men in heels rock it.

Back to the Andy Samberg collaboration.  It all started with the D*ck in a Box, a video about two 80s style guys giving their women what they want most.  No need to buy Xmas gifts.The sequel to that one, Mother Lover, saw them team up with Susan Sarandon  and Patricia Clarkson.  It takes the whole MILF and Mother's Day to an extreme worth watching repeatedly.

To be honest, I didn't take in the "Golden Rule" during Satuday's showing of SNL; I work the graveyard shift.  That's okay, youtube had it ready for me the next morning.  Plus, I got to drink Ten Thousand Villages fair trade hot chocolate while I played the video not once or twice, but ten times in a row!  Oh, the power of internet streaming.

Normally, I don't get down with the 80s --they make me cringe, but hey, JT pulls it off and leaves you laughing the entire time. Without him, SNL would have wilted and died long ago. I'm gonna be watching JT's creative pursuits with Samberg through thick and thin.

Lady Gaga does a great job playing the honey in the middle, although she didn't have as many costume changes as I expected.    They could have given her more lines, but hey, the series is all about the boys.  I understand that. Sarandon and Clarkson don't say or sing any lines and yet they play just as powerful and potent parts.  The spoken word isn't necessary to create on-screen electricity.

Important questions cropped up, like:  Will Sarandon and Clarkson show some jealousy in the next video (hopefully slated for early next season)?  Will we see a standoff between the MILFs and Gaga?  Will the boys move onto more risqué action?  The possibilities are endless.

Long after I drained the hot chocolate from my mug, the video replayed on, over and over.   It came across as, well, perfect, in every little detail, from Gaga's hair and makeup, to the bus and the old-school mobile phone.  I thought about making another hot chocolate, but unlike JT SNL videos, there is such a thing as too much chocolate.

Ratings:

SNL's Golden Rule:  11 / 10 - Something this perfect, this extraordinary, this hilarious, is more than perfect.  There is no grey area here.  Laa laa!

TTV Hot Chocolate:  10/10 - Although it's not as great as the "Golden Rule," it sure makes for a great accessory, plus, it's organic.  Just make sure you don't drink it too fast, or you'll run out long before you tire of JT's comedy sketches.

Of Rain and Chocolate Covered Sunflower Seeds

We lucked out this year: our landlord redid a section next to the side of our apartment building with fresh soil so that we could create a community garden!  I've got a chunk and somebody else has the other half.  I'm working mine with a few other people.

I learned my lesson from years past, with things like tomatoes.  One plant is enough to feed two people all season long.  This year, the garden will provide for a handful of dedicated weeders.

This planting season started out a disaster.  Oh sure, rain is good, great, and fantastic, but not on a daily basis or with lower than normal temperatures. 

I've been patiently waiting to start the small garden.  We plan on growing flowers around the sides and vegetable rows in the middle.  I took an hour or two to scoop away some mud and plant seeds and a few seedlings.

The flowers are done!  I have no idea what they're called, but if they grow, they'll be quite nice.  I do know that along the chain link fence that separates the properties, there will eventually be morning glory blossoms. 

I managed to get three rows of veggies planted before the rain started up again.  Green and yellow beans, onions, and um... something else.  Uh ... 

At the top of each row, I placed alternating baby cukes and celery.  They're already started, so they should be okay.  Unless the rain continues.  Course, we don't have it anywhere near as bad as people along the Mississippi River.  We are fortunate here, it's just delayed spring and everything that comes along with it.

Another problem, of course, is the local wildlife.  Birds pick at the seeds and dig for worms, while squirrels set out to destroy the plants and vegetables by biting/ripping/chewing them to death.  Oh, they don't need the nutrients, they just do it for laughs.  I know because I've watched a few.  

Don't even get me started on the pumpkins.  One year they chewed at them every night until they could crawl right inside and eat the seeds out.

...But this year's garden will be different (if it stops raining).

Oh the chocolate, right!  For the first time ever, I came across chocolate covered sunflower seeds in this area.  Now, I don't shop at all the stores in town, especially since I hoof/bus it everywhere, so when I see something, I grab it.  Word out on the street is, these little candies are delicious, and they're quite popular in the US and overseas in countries like Korea.  No word of a lie.  In some regions, they tell the children that the candied sunflowers are healthy.  Sure, if you count the 4 grams of protein listed on the back and whatever minute amount of other nutrients you get from the seeds themselves.  The rest of it is pure tasty garbage.

Unlike the garden, these little candies didn't stand a chance.  I ripped the package open and dropped them into a couple bowls (oh what, you thought I was going to eat all of them?) and served them up.  

Now, the first ingredient in these babies is sugar, with actual sunflowers listed at third.  Yikes.  That's a lot of processed sugar and yes, the shell felt thicker than it needed to be.  The company could have dipped the seeds in cane-based chocolate, but then I suppose the cost would have increased ten-fold.  

At any rate, we chomped on them until they were gone.  It took about 3 minutes, if I overestimate the time.  No, it wasn't a healthy snack, but you only live once, right?  

Ratings:

Gardening:  6 / 10 - too muddy, wet, and cold.  Thanks a lot, whoever is responsible for the current weather.  Mother nature?  Humans?  Both?

Life Brand Chocolate Covered Sunflower Seeds:  

7 / 10 - Scored points as a novelty, but as a chocolate,

it contained way too much junk. Hopefully they come 

out with a dark chocolate version using cane sugar.

Thor - no Alexander Skarsgard, but at least we had organic Chocolate

Okay, so, armed with Nativa Organics Milk Chocolate, we headed off to the theater to watch Thor, a movie starring Stellan Skarsgard (Professor Erik Selvig), Natalie Portman (Jane Foster), Colm Feore (King Laufey), Tom Hiddleston (Loki), Renee Russo (Frigga), and Anthony Hopkins (Odin).

Oh yeah, and the guy who played Thor--no, sorry, it wasn't Alexander Skarsgard--Chris Hemsworth (yeah, yeah, I've already said this guy played Thor, get over it already).

First, it's important to mention that it's against the law to bring outside food into movie theaters.  You can be charged for this heinous crime and maybe thrown in jail or something.  I really don't know what the consequences are; I've never been caught!

Anyway... the reason I smuggled chocolate into the movies centers around two important facts:  1)  it just tastes so much better than the standard fare  and 2)  cane sugar far outranks the processed sugars in movie candy.

On top of the chocolate, I ended up drinking bottled water with popcorn.  I'm not into the fountain pop.  I'd rather just lick a few sugar cubes.  I'm considering smuggling in Jones Soda next time.  We'll see how that goes...  Of course, the popcorn tasted good.  It could sit in the cupboard for 3 days and turn soft and it would still appeal to me.  That's how I roll, I guess.

Back to Thor... It is ironic that Stellan Skarsgard has a part in the movie, but his son, Alexander doesn't.  From what the internet says, he did make the running, just not the final cut.  I'm willing to bet that the choice came down to pure looks.  Dare I say that Hemsworth is a tad cuter than the wonderful Eric Northman?  I just did.

As far as acting goes, AS far outranks the chosen Thor.  I mean, seriously, the chemistry between Thor and Jane is best summed up as lukewarm water, with Jane doing all the heating.

Hey, it had to be said.  Sure, the guy comes across as pure Eye Candy, but there are only a couple scenes that appreciate that aspect.  Let's see, they gave us the topless tight jeans, the walking around in jeans and t-shirt, and the must-struggle-with-Hammer sweaty bit.  Okay, maybe there were a few more shots, but still...


Judging from the audience on the night that we went, it presented as enjoyable and fun.  And yes, the people behind the production clearly knew that they chose Thor for visual affect; even the Manly Males in the seats were making noise when the camera shots purposely honed in on his handsome attributes.

Speaking of Manly Things, I had trouble with the believability concerning his Hammer.  It just came across as fake.  I don't know if the colouring had anything to do with it, or maybe the long, skinny   handle did, but it just didn't work for me at all.  Even if the handle was made out of pure steel, it just didn't fly.

All the celestial CGI artwork, on the other hand, did turn out as beautiful scenery.  Maybe it's because I'm not an astrophysicist or astronomer; it looked fine to me.  Even the ice scenes with King Laufey turned out quite pleasing to the eye.

Tom Hiddleston's Loki didn't come across as too sinister.  I suppose that's a good thing, since some parents brought their toddlers into the theater to watch the movie. Yeah, crazy, I know, especially given that the scenes with Laufey were a bit too dark for that age group.  Maybe the parents thought the PG-13 rating didn't apply to their uber-intelligent 3 and 4 year-olds.

I can't say much about Russo's bit part, other than she looked nice.  She played a wonderful mommy to Thor and Loki, yes she did.  I don't remember any of her lines though, maybe something about love...

Portman did alright as a gung-ho scientist working her way towards producing big results in the science world.  I wonder how she would have played opposite AS.  But she  did a fine job given the Thor at her disposal.

All in all the movie came across as light and fun, but I definitely wouldn't bring a toddler or preschooler to see it.  I would, however, bring all my single firends who are into hot Viking men.

Ratings

Thor:  7 / 10 - Loses 1 point for the fake looking Hammer and 2 points for the miscasting of Thor.   Otherwise, it's an enjoyable experience with many fun moments.

Nativa Milk Chocolate:  9 / 10 - Great tasting organic chocolate.  Only one problem, it's so yummy that I wolf it down faster than Loki travels between worlds and schemes his way through deals with King Laufey.

Chocolate Bonding

Over here in this part of the world, we are trying to get Spring to visit.  It's May already and yet we're still wearing sweaters and socks and shoes. 

To warm things up, a friend, whom I'll call Jack-O, suggested that we get together and cook up some authentic hot chocolate from the movie Chocolat.  

Naturally, I possess a copy of the cookbook, written by Joanne Harris and Fran Warde.  On a side note, Harris wrote the original novel, which the movie is loosely based on.  But never mind that, it's a post about how we went about making the recipe and whether it turned out.

Oh, the suspense!

First, we had to procure all the ingredients for the tasty delight.  Jack-O is a milk drinker, so she had that, and I like hot foods, so I brought the chili peppers.  The recipe also called for optional brown sugar so I substituted cane instead.  The vanilla, 70% cocoa chocolate, and whipping cream we found at a local drugstore, after finding the market closed.  Geez, you'd think they'd be open on the day we decide to make our treat...

Now, Jack-O, she didn't turn out to have the greatest kitchen supplies, so we improvised.  A vegetable peeler worked to shred the chocolate into small flakes for easy melting while two forks took the place of a whisk to turn the cream from liquid to fluffy goodness.  My arm is still numb.  

Pouring it into the mugs, we applied mountains of whipped cream to each.  The photograph in the book showed the prepared drink with a dribble of chocolate over top the cream - well, the recipe called for chocolate shavings.  Totally thrown off course, the discrepancy nearly cost us our friendship!  In the end, I agreed to put up with the shavings.  

Another thing that bothered us initially centered around the added chili. The recipe called for a whole one, seeded, and removed from the mix after the simmering process - we ended up using dried crushed pepper.  It worked.

Sipping on the hot chocolate left such an exquisite taste in our mouths.  The subtleness of hot pepper combined with real dark chocolate blew us away.  

I don't know if the combination of cocoa and chili peppers is legal in this country, but I will say that ingesting it leaves the mind in an altered state.  

Floating along, we found ourselves in a magical moment.  The damned cocoa-peppers got us drunk!  Regardless of the means, we were there, in the same state of mind--but without the presence of Johnny Depp...

The cups sat unfinished!  Foods made with real ingredients instead of processed syrups tend to curb the appetite.  That meant more for later.

Rating:  10 / 10 - excellent taste, smell, feel, and atmosphere.

Hangover 1 & Eating Like You've Got One...

Hangover Part II comes out May 26th.  Oh my.  Bradley Cooper is in it.  I have no idea who the other actors are, except for Mike Tyson (only because of his infamy, I can't really call him an actor).  Yes, it is wrong to slight the rest of the team--but it's all about The Coop.

In order to celebrate the coming event of HPII, we decided to obtain a copy of The Hangover.  Now, just to be clear here, we did in fact purchase it, as we do all our movies/music/books.  As an artist, I believe in giving other artisans their due payment.

To watch such a fun movie, we needed to prepare for the optimum viewing experience. It included making sure we had enough food and drink to stuff our glutinous mouths continuously.  Such decisions need to be made with careful consideration.  We ended up choosing Jones' Soda Blue Bubble Gum, Kernels' cheese popcorn, and a couple of Laura Secord's "Easter Eggs."*

*Warning:  Do not try this at home unless you have the tolerance for way too much sugar all at once.

The movie, which I'd seen before, turned out to be just as hilarious the second time round.  Say what you want about the bachelor party debate, but I didn't watch it to critique the societal significance of various themes.  The Coop, action, and absurd possibilities were about all that interested me, and the movie did not disappoint.  Yes, the Coop as an underpaid school teacher...

While the whole cast was solid, Ken Jeong, the actor who played Mr. Chow, went above and beyond during his short on-screen appearances. He pulled off some great comedic timing.  From the previews of HPII, it appears that he's going to be back and in fine form.  Good.  On a sad note, Heather Graham won't be returning.

The subplot that revolved around the tiger bothered me enough that even suspended disbelief couldn't cut it, I'll admit.  First, doesn't keeping a tiger in a hotel room over night mean that the place would stink up with mountains of cat crap, and second, would any exotic animal owner in their right mind let a bunch of hungover idiots transport the pet back home?  I mean, come on, not even Tyson would let that go down. None of that ruined the tasty eating, though, fortunately.

While observing the scene where Phil (The Coop), Stu (Ed Helms), Alan (Zack Galifianakis) and Baby Tyler (played by a bunch of different infant actors) are sitting at a table, trying to figure out the night before, I had an epiphany:  Jones Soda needs to create a flavour called 'The Coop.'  It's a great idea, I hope that other soda companies don't read this and make it first...


Ratings:


The Hangover:  8.5 / 10  - Great action, lively interaction, funny scenes, suspension of disbelief worked, but, sadly, there wasn't enough screen time given to The Coop.  Oh well.

Jones Soda:  9 / 10 - Mmm, refreshing blue bubble gum taste, done up with inverted cane sugar (always a bonus, if you're gonna choose sugar), and looked quite pretty in the glass mug with ice cubes.  The only draw back was that damn, those bottles are so small.

Kernels:  6.5 / 10 - Not bad for fresh popcorn to chew on like a hungry cow while watching a movie, but it didn't have the best cheese flavour and the popcorn was nowhere near as firm and crunchy as traditional movie popcorn.  Lesson learned.

Laura Secord:  8.5 / 10 - To be honest, I didn't even look at the ingredients before devouring the 75g egg. Crazy.  I knew that the taste of Secord chocolates is on average, good.  My mouth enjoyed the gooey insides and breaking off bits of the outer chocolate shell.  The only downside to such a treat was the price; which was steep even on sale.

May Day Chocolate

May Day, an annual celebration of work, labour, spring, the Beltane... and also a great time to start a blog.

I've worked many jobs, from field labourer to waitress to line work in factories and teaching various subjects. Now, I eat chocolate while exploring the self-employed life.

Instead of marching or gathering with others, I decided to take it easy today.   My bones are tired and weak from years of living pay cheque to pay cheque.  So, I'm eating Fair Trade Orange Milk Chocolate right now.  

Recently, pastry makers worked hard creating His and Her Wedding Cakes.  Nothing else matters about that extravagant union of two people I've never met.  Forget the wedding dress and the cousin's sculpture-hat--the cake is where it's at.  Yes, the thousands of workers that pulled off the event all deserve kudos for their concentrated effort, but the cake is the topic here.

Ratings:

Bride & Beyond

White fruit cake:  8 / 10 for sheer size - it loses 2 points for being fruit instead of chocolate.

Chocolate biscuit cake:  7.5 / 10 - a biscuit cake deserves to be displayed in a much more playful manner than stuffy squared layers.  Say something like this biscuit cake displayed at Bridal Musings.*  The author of that blog, Elizabeth, feels the same about the cake.

Orange Milk Chocolate:  10 / 10  - Okay, so I didn't get to taste any of the royal cakes, I based their scores solely on visual appeal--but I did get to devour this perfect chocolate.

*I don't read bridal mags/sites, I went there for the cake!