X-Men: First Class & Last Class Chocolate

I did not prepare properly for this particular movie outing.  We had to purchase chocolate at the movie kiosk.  And, as noted previously, we've been showing up on cheap night Tuesdays, since there are so many on the list to see this summer.

Despite the glitches, we enjoyed X-Men:  First Class.  Although I'd seen the previews, I had no idea how it would go over.  Well, it didn't center around Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), so ... But I have to say that the movie pulled off presenting the backgrounds of Xavier (James McAvoy) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender).  Both characters came across as believable and their emotions reached through the screen to the audience, especially during their touching scene on the beach near the end.

Of course, I ended up on Team Magneto.  Xavier, even in college, when pursuing women, seemed such a pansy.  That's not a bad thing, but compared to the complex layers of Magneto, X was a lightweight.

Yeah, I know, it's a comic, but take the relationship between Magneto and Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence), for example.  She offers herself up to him and he reacts by agreeing, if she stays in her true form during the encounter.  That spoke much stronger than Xavier's lame pickup lines involving women's genetic quirks.

Now, that's not to say that others will be Team Magneto; somebody I went with totally disagreed.  She immediately took to the genuinely caring Xavier and stuck with him.  So either side is justified in the movie.

And onto the villains, featuring Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) and his sidekick, Emma Frost (January Jones).  Bacon did a great job playing a sadistic Nazi and transitioned nicely into a 1960s Bond-type bad guy.  Frost played the villainous vixen convincingly, and yes, she fit the 60s style Bond bad-girl wardrobe.

Of course, with such a movie, in contemporary times, there has to be CGI, especially for scenes where Magneto lifts whole submarines into the air.  Believable?  Not so much, but hey, it's presented much the same as in the other X-Men installments.  The human reflection and interactions balance it without smothering the audience.

And then there's the cameo with Wolverine.  Wow.  His time onscreen didn't last longer than say, twenty seconds, but the audience went nuts when they--er, we--saw him.  He had one line and that's all he needed.  Perfection.

Overall, the movie exceeded expectations (since I really didn't know what I was in for).  The Wolverine spot brought it over the edge.  From Bacon to Mystique and minor characters like Beast (Nicholas Hoult), the actors worked it.  Costuming and props also did a great job of working the 1940s/1960s vibe.

Ratings:

X-Men:  First Class - 8.5 / 10 - It's a good score, considering the movie doesn't focus on Wolverine (my favourite character).  My views of Magneto and Xavier really turned around.  I'm also looking forward to seeing more movies with Fassbender and Lawrence.  And nice to see Bacon back in form.

Junior Mints - 4.5 / 10 - I couldn't be bothered to them until now, when I have to rate them.  It's really been a long time since I've had to eat such sugar mints.  I've been spoiled on real cocoa chocolate and candies, that's for sure.  These bloody things (I can't really call them mints) burnt my mouth with the low-grade sugar assault.  Never again.  I must stick to smuggling real chocolate into the movies.

The Solitude of Numbers and Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream

I'm currently writing a memoir about childhood and as each draft winds its way through the eagle eyes of beta and refining critters, I often receive fantastic feedback that leads me to other writers.  That's how I stumbled upon Paolo Giordano's The Solitude of Prime Numbers.  A reader said that my writing, which portrays a dysfunctional family and includes the use of bodily excretions, reminded her of this book.

She found both stories difficult to read, particularly because of the grittier details.  At first I thought, oh man, time to toss the whole thing into the garbage, but after I absorbed the rejection, I went looking for it at the local library.

I'd never heard of Giordano or The Solitude before.  It's a translation of La solitudine dei numeri primi, his Italian story of two traumatized individuals, Mattia and Alice.  I decided to read it, thinking, hey, why not, maybe I'll get some insights.

What a surprise it turned out to be.   I enjoyed the fast read.  Yes, it included a scene that dealt with excrement, but so what.  I'm not just saying that to bolster my own childhood poop.  It maintains the story's integrity.

Since I'm talking about the body, I'll move straight into the chocolate connection.   Well, yeah, childhood humour is appropriate, given that the story deals with the progression from early childhood to the prime of adult life.

What better way to experience a novel then by purchasing some ice cream that you can eat in small bowls as it unfolds?  I chose Turtle Mountain's soy based chocolate peanut butter flavor.  The first taste my tongue found was the peanut butter.  Yes, real peanuts and, real cocoa.  The texture wasn't as smooth as traditional corn syrup, chemical-laced ice creams, but it sure tastes better.

Like the ice cream, Solitude has a bite to it.  It's refreshing.  Not like a cool glass of water, but as a potent dance between the main characters, who suffer early traumas that leave them emotionally disabled.

It reads as the band Radiohead sounds with Thom Yorke's eerily haunting vocals, only it's fluid words on paper.  I doubted the similarity was a coincidence, so I read up on the author to find out who influenced him.

Sure enough,in an interview, he notes that Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails (NIN) inspire him as an artist.  Although trained as a physicist, he is clearly also an accomplished story teller.

In the end, as the isolated and lonely Alice and Mattia tried to come together, I really wanted them too succeed.  When such reunions rely on the logical resolution that a mathematician or physicist provides, it does not bode well.  Can one emotionally stunted woman plus one man of similar suffering equal  happily ever after?   Read it and find out.

There is also a movie adaptation of the novel.  I haven't seen it yet.  From the trailer, it looks like it has captured the essence and atmosphere of the story, so I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully it comes with English subtitles.

Ratings:

The Solitude of Prime Numbers:  9 / 10 -if only I could defy logic and force my own ending on it.  Otherwise, it makes for fantastic word music.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream:  8 / 10 - great peanut butter taste, I'd like to see a bit more chocolate punch to it.  While it is far more healthier than the average junk-filled ice creams out there, it wasn't as smooth.  Yes, I'd devour it again.

No Chocolate No Go

Well, folks, I ran out of chocolate a few days ago.  That means no reviews or experiences.  It's a pretty bland world without chocolate.  It's no joke, I can't even brush my teeth without it.  No, seriously, what's the point of brushing if there's no chocolate?

Okay, dental hygiene jokes aside, I've got a few book reviews in the works. That includes the first ebook I've read (I got it as a gift last week).  Those posts will alternate with my thoughts on movies that I haven't seen yet, Like Kung Fu Panda 2, X-Men: First Class, and Bridesmaids ...

Oh, I know what you're thinking; people do entertainment reviews all the time without the aid of chocolate.  Sure.  Point taken, but this blog is supposed to be chocolate fueled and to do it without would cocoa-less.  Without the chocolate vibe, you might as well get Melba toast or unsalted crackers to fill in.  Honestly.

Look for chocolate peanut butter ice cream among the treats that I'll be talking about.  No, I haven't tried it yet, but once it's in my dessert bowl, I'm sure it'll last about three seconds--at least, I hope that's how good it's gonna taste.

Hangover 2 Saved By Chocolate

Last night I headed downtown to catch the sequel to the Hangover.  I couldn't go wrong on Cheap Night--or so I thought.  Armed with Jones Soda, plain brown rice cakes, and Dubble chocolate bars, I met up with a pal.  Before you raise the eyebrows at rice cakes, it's important to note here that with all the summer movies out there, I'm budgeting the entertainment funds.

We were both excited about seeing the Coop as Phil again.  Quite pleasing to look at, he played the same let's-keep-it-together character as in the last film, but with a meaner twist.  It was odd hearing him say the F-word no less than 50 billion times.  I know, it's rated R for language, nudity, drug use, violence... but come on already.  Did his contract call for so many swear words per page of script?

Added to that, Phil came across as extra prickly and defiant.  I had no fun watching him.  Yeah, he lead the trio, but he had a pissy mood about him and the bit where he tried to steal one of Stu's prescription pads came across as over the top for the character.  He's far less likable in this installment.

And now we come to the role of women in the movie.  Sure, it's about guys and a bachelor party, but in the first one, we got a fitting taste of Heather Graham, who added a sense of feminine balance.  Aside from looking worried and getting upset about the boys' late arrival, the girls didn't say anything.  Now, I must note that a prostitute got a few lines, but she really wasn't what she seemed.  *wink wink*

Plot?  Oh, right, yeah, that thing.  Well, to be honest, I set out to see the movie to get my Phil of the Coop (get it?  Phil?  Fill?...).  Yeah, I laughed along with the other people in the audience at moments, even though the film, scene for scene, copied the first one in its entirety.  I did know that going into it.  Same setup, same action, same ending, the only difference being that it took place in Bangkok instead of Vegas.  Oh, and they went for the gritty look rather than flash, which worked great as an anti-party commercial.

Aside from the grungy core of the film, the intro and wedding scenes were done with some polish.  The opening credits worked as a deceptive pull.  A nice trick, it pulled my guard down, leaving me wide open for things like the chopped finger, multiple flaccid 'weenises,' and what Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong) refers to as 'squalor.'

Oh, the monkey.  He smokes (see the suave chromatographic scene with his silhouette), and develops a friendship with Alan (Zach Galifianakis).  He takes the place of the tiger.  Not only do the guys have to return him, they have to retrieve him, so I guess there's a tiny variation on the plot from the first movie.  Yeah.

All in all, despite a few laughs and knowing nods, I wouldn't go see Hangover 2 again, nor would I rent it.  Maybe the cynical presentation put me off, or the forced swearing, or Phil's irritable demeanor, but whatever the root, it fell flat for me.

Ratings:

Hangover 2:  6 / 10 - It gets such a high score because the Coop looked good no matter what scene he showed up in and hey, Ken Jeong is always a laugh.  ...and the music rocked, just as it did in the first one.

plain brown rice cakes: 7 / 10 -  Hey, popcorn always rates as top for grazing food while taking in a movie.  Although much healthier, with far less calories, and far cheaper, the rice needed some sort of spice.

Dubble chocolate:  9 / 10 - Even though it melted on the way to the theater (ooops), it tasted good.  The only issue I had with it was the shape being thick instead of thin and wide like a regular chocolate bar.  Every crispy chocolate bite went down smooth and bonus, it's Fair Trade!  It more than made up for the limp movie.

Pirates of the Caribbean 4 & Smuggled Treasures

On cheap night Tuesday, we headed out to the Mall to see Pirates 4. Busing it to such a place makes my skin crawl and the lighting does weird things to my eyes, but we had to see Disney's 4th installment of the series.

Gearing up for the movie, I smuggled in Jones Soda, Green Apple flavour, and Nativa milk chocolate. The risk of being sent to the gallows was worth it. Horrid tasting fountain pop and cheap concession stand chocolate candy do nothing for my taste buds.

We bought one of those combos that comes with 2 giant sized drinks, 1 enormous bag of popcorn, and a thing of miniature candy bars. One of my pals took the two drinks, since he drinks like a fish. Once he quickly drank the first pop, I poured the Green Apple over his leftover ice.

Cue the movie: When I saw previews showing some of the interaction between Jack Sparrow (Depp) and Angelica Malon (Penélope Cruz), To be honest, the whole Will Turner/Elizabeth Swan plot of the previous movies bored me nearly to death.

Well, imagine my surprise when the whole Jack/Angelica relationship turned out to be a bunch of tease! What? It's all verbal acrobatics, jokes about their previous time together while she stayed in a convent, ie: 'Was I your first?' he asked. The real question is, will the fifth movie be the first in which Jack gets to show us some of that reputation of his?

Yeah, there'll be a fifth movie. The end of this one (after the 3 hour reel of credits roles by) indicates as much. Hey, you don't kill the cash cow when it's still churning out the goods.

Okay, so the love element is, once again, presented by a young, virginal couple, bible-thumper Philip (Sam Claflin) and mermaid Syerena (Astrid Berges-Frisbey). They hookup when the pirates and the British and Spanish navies go on the hunt for vampires - I mean - mermaids, as part of the quest for the Fountain of Youth. That scene, with its bevy of vampish--er, fishy--women, comes off as a nice nod to Brahm Stoker's Dracula.

Speaking of the un-dead, zombies are included in this movie. Sadly, they don't get much screen time, other than to look the part and handle a few tiny bits of action. Course, they get more action than the Black Pearl's monkey and the Pearl herself. Yeah, it's gone, stuck in a bottle. Poor thing. Oh well, maybe she'll be riding the high seas in #5? No doubt, mate.

I'm running out of space, so I better talk about the villains here. They served up Blackbeard (Ian McShane), to balance out Balbosa (Geoffrey Rush). Yawn. My Green Apple soda offered more of a bite. I guess they spoiled us with Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). I didn't find Blackbeard or his ship the slightest bit intimidating. Mutiny? You bet. I want Davy back.

Balbosa did a far better job of being creepy. All he had to do was put on a British navy uniform and one of those wigs. *shudder* It worked for me. I didn't feel comfortable until he put his pirate gear back on. ...and here I throw in a quick nod to Mr. Gibbs (Kevin McNally), who sadly, didn't get his usual story-telling space--Balbosa stole that. Hrmpf.

Oh yes, the last thing to mention is the plot. The what? That's what I said. The hunt for the Fountain acted as the thin thread that bound it all together. Small points like the historical English-Spanish rivalry got a few acknowledgements. And, of course, we laughed at all the right places.

Pirates 4: 7 / 10 ~ Despite the disappointments mentioned above, it's still a fun movie to watch. I'd go see it again, but I hope they make Jack and Angelica the love interest in Pirates 5.

Food: 10 / 10 ~ Everything, from the popcorn to the chocolate and Crab Apple, tasted just right. In fact, the soda kept its flavour the entire movie.  

Justin Timberlake's Golden Rule and A Morning Cup of Hot Chocolate

Sometimes you just gotta get silly.  That means, you have to watch Justin Timberlake's Golden Rule, from the May 22 episode of Saturday Night Live.  It also stars Andy Samberg and Lady Gaga.  Yeah yeah ye-ye-yeah!

I'm no fan of JT's music; he's a comedian, not a singer. A good example is his Single Ladies parody with Beyonce.  "We're the dancers," he says right off the bat, letting us know that "Oh uh ah ah oh," the trio of three men in heels rock it.

Back to the Andy Samberg collaboration.  It all started with the D*ck in a Box, a video about two 80s style guys giving their women what they want most.  No need to buy Xmas gifts.The sequel to that one, Mother Lover, saw them team up with Susan Sarandon  and Patricia Clarkson.  It takes the whole MILF and Mother's Day to an extreme worth watching repeatedly.

To be honest, I didn't take in the "Golden Rule" during Satuday's showing of SNL; I work the graveyard shift.  That's okay, youtube had it ready for me the next morning.  Plus, I got to drink Ten Thousand Villages fair trade hot chocolate while I played the video not once or twice, but ten times in a row!  Oh, the power of internet streaming.

Normally, I don't get down with the 80s --they make me cringe, but hey, JT pulls it off and leaves you laughing the entire time. Without him, SNL would have wilted and died long ago. I'm gonna be watching JT's creative pursuits with Samberg through thick and thin.

Lady Gaga does a great job playing the honey in the middle, although she didn't have as many costume changes as I expected.    They could have given her more lines, but hey, the series is all about the boys.  I understand that. Sarandon and Clarkson don't say or sing any lines and yet they play just as powerful and potent parts.  The spoken word isn't necessary to create on-screen electricity.

Important questions cropped up, like:  Will Sarandon and Clarkson show some jealousy in the next video (hopefully slated for early next season)?  Will we see a standoff between the MILFs and Gaga?  Will the boys move onto more risqué action?  The possibilities are endless.

Long after I drained the hot chocolate from my mug, the video replayed on, over and over.   It came across as, well, perfect, in every little detail, from Gaga's hair and makeup, to the bus and the old-school mobile phone.  I thought about making another hot chocolate, but unlike JT SNL videos, there is such a thing as too much chocolate.

Ratings:

SNL's Golden Rule:  11 / 10 - Something this perfect, this extraordinary, this hilarious, is more than perfect.  There is no grey area here.  Laa laa!

TTV Hot Chocolate:  10/10 - Although it's not as great as the "Golden Rule," it sure makes for a great accessory, plus, it's organic.  Just make sure you don't drink it too fast, or you'll run out long before you tire of JT's comedy sketches.

Of Rain and Chocolate Covered Sunflower Seeds

We lucked out this year: our landlord redid a section next to the side of our apartment building with fresh soil so that we could create a community garden!  I've got a chunk and somebody else has the other half.  I'm working mine with a few other people.

I learned my lesson from years past, with things like tomatoes.  One plant is enough to feed two people all season long.  This year, the garden will provide for a handful of dedicated weeders.

This planting season started out a disaster.  Oh sure, rain is good, great, and fantastic, but not on a daily basis or with lower than normal temperatures. 

I've been patiently waiting to start the small garden.  We plan on growing flowers around the sides and vegetable rows in the middle.  I took an hour or two to scoop away some mud and plant seeds and a few seedlings.

The flowers are done!  I have no idea what they're called, but if they grow, they'll be quite nice.  I do know that along the chain link fence that separates the properties, there will eventually be morning glory blossoms. 

I managed to get three rows of veggies planted before the rain started up again.  Green and yellow beans, onions, and um... something else.  Uh ... 

At the top of each row, I placed alternating baby cukes and celery.  They're already started, so they should be okay.  Unless the rain continues.  Course, we don't have it anywhere near as bad as people along the Mississippi River.  We are fortunate here, it's just delayed spring and everything that comes along with it.

Another problem, of course, is the local wildlife.  Birds pick at the seeds and dig for worms, while squirrels set out to destroy the plants and vegetables by biting/ripping/chewing them to death.  Oh, they don't need the nutrients, they just do it for laughs.  I know because I've watched a few.  

Don't even get me started on the pumpkins.  One year they chewed at them every night until they could crawl right inside and eat the seeds out.

...But this year's garden will be different (if it stops raining).

Oh the chocolate, right!  For the first time ever, I came across chocolate covered sunflower seeds in this area.  Now, I don't shop at all the stores in town, especially since I hoof/bus it everywhere, so when I see something, I grab it.  Word out on the street is, these little candies are delicious, and they're quite popular in the US and overseas in countries like Korea.  No word of a lie.  In some regions, they tell the children that the candied sunflowers are healthy.  Sure, if you count the 4 grams of protein listed on the back and whatever minute amount of other nutrients you get from the seeds themselves.  The rest of it is pure tasty garbage.

Unlike the garden, these little candies didn't stand a chance.  I ripped the package open and dropped them into a couple bowls (oh what, you thought I was going to eat all of them?) and served them up.  

Now, the first ingredient in these babies is sugar, with actual sunflowers listed at third.  Yikes.  That's a lot of processed sugar and yes, the shell felt thicker than it needed to be.  The company could have dipped the seeds in cane-based chocolate, but then I suppose the cost would have increased ten-fold.  

At any rate, we chomped on them until they were gone.  It took about 3 minutes, if I overestimate the time.  No, it wasn't a healthy snack, but you only live once, right?  

Ratings:

Gardening:  6 / 10 - too muddy, wet, and cold.  Thanks a lot, whoever is responsible for the current weather.  Mother nature?  Humans?  Both?

Life Brand Chocolate Covered Sunflower Seeds:  

7 / 10 - Scored points as a novelty, but as a chocolate,

it contained way too much junk. Hopefully they come 

out with a dark chocolate version using cane sugar.