Cookie Cutter Hollywood Movies and Cookie Dough Ice Cream

We celebrated Canada Day (July 1) by eating ice cream and watched some older movies, A Knight's Tale (2001) and The Karate Kid (2010), with a friend.  When these movies came out, I had absolutely no interest in seeing them, however, we were hanging out and decided to sit down and see what they had to offer.  Since it was a holiday, we walked to the nearest grocery store and picked up the closest thing to chocolate that we could find without a trillion chemicals in it:   Irresistibles Cookie Dough and Brownies Ice Cream.

Irony overshadowed the whole experience. The day before, unbeknownst to us, the Canadian government issued an allergy warning for the ice cream we bought. No kidding. Course, we didn't hear about it until a few days later. Ooops. Fortunately, nobody who ate it suffered from any issue relating to eggs.

We hunkered down with the Heath Ledger movie. After eating takeout pizza we dove into the ice cream. Yeah, pizza, for the holiday. Special days aren't meant to be chalked full of nutritional foods. I suppose that goes for movie quality as well, since Knight came across as typical Hollywood cookie cutter feel-good fair. Yeah.

Just like in Smith's Karate Kid, everything is black and white; there's the good guy who must be the underdog and the bad guy who always has the upper hand, whether it be through class or money or both. Then, of course, we need a pretty girl who immediately falls for our hero.

Good thing I got busy stuffing my face, it distracted me from the feel-good crap on the TV screen.  Sure, Ledger provided some eye-candy and Karate Kid came across as a tourist brochure for the shiny bits of China, but the fact that these two movies had the exact same formula kind of ruined it.  I mean, hey, if at least one of them could have had even the tiniest bit of creativity to it, that would have made everything okay.

The only area they did get creative with was in the whole Suspension of Disbelief department, as expected.  Smith's character, a complete newbie to martial arts, miraculously spars a seasoned Kung Fu champ and avoids ultimate defeat.  Never mind that they got the style of martial arts wrong, but I guess if they named it something other than what they did, people wouldn't get that it was a remake with a few superficial changes.

And poor Ledger, fighting with a knight who's obviously using an improper jousting lance.  Even the crowd could easily see that it wasn't regulation.  Such oversights must occur for flimsy and drab plots to crawl towards the required ending of white defeating black.  Ho hum.

From yawn-inducing stories to bland ice cream that didn't have the texture of any of the goodies it boasted:  chunks of chocolate chip cookie dough, chocolate brownies, or real cream.  And the chocolate taste was muted at best.  Disappointed, I double checked the ingredients to make sure it even had any in it and found traces of 'cocoa butter' and 'cocoa powder.'   Yay.

Ratings:

A Knight's Tale / The Karate Kid / Irresistibles Cookie Dough:  6 / 10 -  It's best to simply list them altogether, since they deserve about the same score.  Knight gets a high number for the shots of Ledger and the jousting scenes and, last but not least, Paul Bettany's naked butt shots.  Karate gets a decent ranking because of the pretty scenery and Jackie Chan--I'm a big fan.  Cookie did better than expected because well, we already had low expectations.

The Solitude of Numbers and Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream

I'm currently writing a memoir about childhood and as each draft winds its way through the eagle eyes of beta and refining critters, I often receive fantastic feedback that leads me to other writers.  That's how I stumbled upon Paolo Giordano's The Solitude of Prime Numbers.  A reader said that my writing, which portrays a dysfunctional family and includes the use of bodily excretions, reminded her of this book.

She found both stories difficult to read, particularly because of the grittier details.  At first I thought, oh man, time to toss the whole thing into the garbage, but after I absorbed the rejection, I went looking for it at the local library.

I'd never heard of Giordano or The Solitude before.  It's a translation of La solitudine dei numeri primi, his Italian story of two traumatized individuals, Mattia and Alice.  I decided to read it, thinking, hey, why not, maybe I'll get some insights.

What a surprise it turned out to be.   I enjoyed the fast read.  Yes, it included a scene that dealt with excrement, but so what.  I'm not just saying that to bolster my own childhood poop.  It maintains the story's integrity.

Since I'm talking about the body, I'll move straight into the chocolate connection.   Well, yeah, childhood humour is appropriate, given that the story deals with the progression from early childhood to the prime of adult life.

What better way to experience a novel then by purchasing some ice cream that you can eat in small bowls as it unfolds?  I chose Turtle Mountain's soy based chocolate peanut butter flavor.  The first taste my tongue found was the peanut butter.  Yes, real peanuts and, real cocoa.  The texture wasn't as smooth as traditional corn syrup, chemical-laced ice creams, but it sure tastes better.

Like the ice cream, Solitude has a bite to it.  It's refreshing.  Not like a cool glass of water, but as a potent dance between the main characters, who suffer early traumas that leave them emotionally disabled.

It reads as the band Radiohead sounds with Thom Yorke's eerily haunting vocals, only it's fluid words on paper.  I doubted the similarity was a coincidence, so I read up on the author to find out who influenced him.

Sure enough,in an interview, he notes that Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails (NIN) inspire him as an artist.  Although trained as a physicist, he is clearly also an accomplished story teller.

In the end, as the isolated and lonely Alice and Mattia tried to come together, I really wanted them too succeed.  When such reunions rely on the logical resolution that a mathematician or physicist provides, it does not bode well.  Can one emotionally stunted woman plus one man of similar suffering equal  happily ever after?   Read it and find out.

There is also a movie adaptation of the novel.  I haven't seen it yet.  From the trailer, it looks like it has captured the essence and atmosphere of the story, so I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully it comes with English subtitles.

Ratings:

The Solitude of Prime Numbers:  9 / 10 -if only I could defy logic and force my own ending on it.  Otherwise, it makes for fantastic word music.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream:  8 / 10 - great peanut butter taste, I'd like to see a bit more chocolate punch to it.  While it is far more healthier than the average junk-filled ice creams out there, it wasn't as smooth.  Yes, I'd devour it again.